>^,,^< Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on
            the modem.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off of the roll.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as
            thou art not transparent.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap region.

>^,,^< Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as
            thou will fall in and trap thy self.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat, just as thy human is sitting down.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 am.

>^,,^< Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to
            escape at any opportunity.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not trip thy human even if they are walking too slow.

>^,,^< Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are
            guests in the house.

>^,,^< Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that
            houseplants are not meat.

>^,,^< Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.