* Your credit card is overcharged, mainly for "9-Lives",

* You find attached to the refrigerator a note that reads:
   "Leave a steak on the front porch at midnight, or you'll
    never see Spot again".

* Too many times a week your cat comes home after one in the
   morning, totally plastered and with a strong odor of catnip
   about him.

* You come home to catch him in the act of raiding your liquor
   cabinet.

* Several hundred dollars' worth of phone calls appear on your
   phone bill to "1-900-PUSSYCAT-MEOW"

* You find out that the lifetime's supply of cat food wasn't a
   prize from "Kitten's Life" magazine, but that your cat has been
   selling anti-flea drugs in the neighborhood

* After failing to get your attention with constant meows and by
  rubbing up against your leg, your cat pulls out his Magnum-44 
  and aims it at you, demanding  "Friskies" and catnip.