1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say
romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right?
Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This
room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the
lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to
pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave
any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm
sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little
trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya?
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually)
But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual
fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing
all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen
where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a
living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without
batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in
this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more
endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better
myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman
I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more
people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory
rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress
stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just
a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that
foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to
buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have
taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the
times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as
a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think
sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about
if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care
of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like
you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. Q: You can cook, too right? A: (Whaddaya
think I'm doin'?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought
about someone I really like... Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very
good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails
in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I
make a few phone calls? |