BEFORE	AFTER
You take my breath away.	I feel like I'm suffocating.
She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.	She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac!
Saturday Night Fever	Monday Night Football
Don't stop!	Don't start!
Is that all you're having?	Maybe you should have just a salad, honey...
It's like I'm living in a dream.	It's like he lives in a dorm!
$60/doz.	$1.50/stem
Turbocharged	Jumpstart
We agree on everything.	Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
Victoria's Secret	Fruit-of-the-Loom
Charming and Noble	Chernobyl
Feathers and handcuffs	Ball and chain.
Idol	Idle
I love a woman with curves.	I never said you were fat!
He's completely lost without me.	Why won't he ever ask for directions?
Time stood still.	This relationship is going nowhere.
Croissant and cappuccino.	Bagel and instant coffee.
You look so seductive in black.	Your clothes are so depressing.
Oysters	Fishsticks
I can hardly believe we found each other.	I can't believe I ended up with someone like you!
Passion	Ration
Once upon a time...	The end.