Why did the man cross the road?
Answer:He heard the chicken was a slut.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
Answer:They don't have enough time!

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Answer:They won't stop to ask directions.

Why did God put men on earth?
Answer:Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Answer:Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
Answer:They're intended for children, but the men usually end up playing with them.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Answer:Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.

Why do men masturbate?
Answer:It's sex with someone they love.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
Answer:So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make man before woman?
Answer:You need a rough draft before you have the final copy.

Why is a man's pee yellow and their sperm white?
Answer:So they can tell if they're coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Answer:Nobody knows. It hasn't happened yet.

How many men does it take to replace the empty roll of toilet paper?
Answer:Schyeah, right!

Have you heard of the Lorena Bobbit computer virus?
Answer:It turns your hard drive into a 3 1/2 floppy.

What do Johnny Cochrane and Heidi Fleiss have in common?
Answer:They both charge a lot but eventually they get you off.

What do a pussy and a warm toilet seat have in common ?
Answer:The're both nice, but you always wonder about who was there before you.

What does a virgin and a ballon have in common ?
Answer:All it takes is one prick and it's all over.

Why are pussy hairs curly ?
Answer:So they don't poke you in the eye.

Why do Tampons have strings ?
Answer:So you can floss after every meal.

What's the difference between a pit bull and a PMS sufferer?
Answer:Eyeliner.

What do they do in Montana to practice "safe sex?"
Answer:Brand the sheep that kick.

What's the diff. between a paycheck and a dick?
Answer:You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

What are the small bumps around nipples?
Answer:Braille for "suck here!"

What's the similarity between a KFC meal and a woman?
Answer:Once you've had the legs and breasts, there's nothing left but a smelly box.

What's the horniest animal?
Answer:A camel -- he can go weeks without water but not a day without a hump.

Why is the camel called "the ship of the desert?"
Answer:It's full of Arab semen.